Sadness
by Mlle Lambert
Summary: Six people's lives will change forever. Warning: Character Death. SJ, SD friendship, slight DanJan
1. The Goodbye

Sadness  
_By Mlle. Lambert_

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_ ___**Category:** Angst, Romance  
**Spoilers:** None that I can think of.  
**Season/Sequel:** Future Season  
**Rating:** PG  
**Content Warnings:** Character Death  
**Pairings:** Sam/Jack  
**Summary:** A final goodbye.  
**Status:** Complete  
**Disclaimer:** Whoever owns them owns them! If I did, I'd be writing the scripts, not the fanfic!  
**Author's Notes:** I was reading another angst story about Sam and Jack and this just sort of popped into my head.  
**Written:** September 14, 2003  
**Archive:** Ask me first.  
**Feedback:** Yes, please._  
  


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Their lips parted and she opened her eyes to look into his. "Please, don't go."  
He didn't answer. He just continued to stare at the pleading blue sapphires he loved so much. This wasn't like her, they both knew, but she was allowed this one moment of vulnerability.  
"Jack—" she was silenced by his thumb caressing her lips.  
They both knew he had to leave no matter how much they wished more time could be spent together. The warm embrace brought more tears to both pairs of eyes as he whispered, "I love you, Sam."  
"God, Jack, don't do this!"  
He pulled back and gazed at her with dark brown eyes. His hands cupped her face, and he drew closer, planting another kiss on her beautiful lips. Giving her his dog tags, he told her, "I will always love you."   
Sadness. The emotion could only be described as sadness as she watched him walk through the door to his certain death.  
She ran from there just as he had told her to. At the Stargate she turned around to see the explosion. Tears flowed freely as she regarded the scene. "I love you, too, Jack."  
Somehow, she knew he'd heard._  
_


	2. Major Samantha Carter

**Sadness**  
_Major Samantha Carter_

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_By Mlle. Lambert  
Email: country@attglobal.net  
Category: Angst, Romance  
Spoilers: Small one for "Divide and Conquer"  
Season/Sequel: Future Season  
Rating: PG  
Content Warnings: Character Death  
Pairings: Sam/Jack  
Summary: Sam thinks about the events leading up to "Sadness."  
Status: Complete  
Disclaimer: Whoever owns them owns them! If I did, I'd be writing the scripts, not the fanfic!  
Author's Notes: This is a continuation. I always have to have some kind of a continuation! Please R&R!  
Written: September 20, 2003  
Archive: Ask me first.  
Feedback: Yes, please._

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I told him not to do this. Why does he have to do these things? Higher rank, my eye! He should have listened to me, but no, he had to go off and blow himself up! Maybe I should have asked Janet to use one of those big needles sooner. That would have convinced him to stop taking too many risks.  
It all started a few months ago. Actually it was at least three years ago during the zatarc incident, but I'm not going there. Anyway, over the years we had grown closer, and I was beginning to fear that we might be getting too close. I distanced myself from him, hell, I even started dating again, but nothing could stop my heart from racing when he was around.  
So I made my decision. He came into my lab as I was packing up everything. I looked up when he knocked.  
"Mind if I help?" He asked in his usual tone, but the look in his eyes told me his emotions were just below the surface.  
"Of course, sir…Just grab something and put it in here." I motioned toward the empty box on the counter.  
We didn't speak for a long time. He was the one to break the silence.  
"So, Carter, are you going to tell me why you're transferring?"  
"Why do you think, sir?" I replied trying not to sound rude.  
"It's because of me, isn't it?"  
I instinctively looked around for anyone who might overhear our conversation. Of course, there wasn't anyone anywhere in the lab (big surprise). "Sir—"  
"Sam." He stopped me dead by using my name. "Tell me the truth."  
"Yes, I suppose it is…"  
He didn't say or do anything for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, he moved toward me until his body was mere inches from mine. "I'm sorry, Sam. I tried not to let myself care about you."  
"Jack, I'm at fault, too. We both fell in love and tried to push it away. I guess some things are just out of our control."  
"I guess so." He gazed around the room. "What about that guy you've been dating?"  
"He understands and supports me all the way." I saw a flicker of…something…in his eyes. "But we're not longer together."  
I caught the slight smile even though he quickly hid it from view. "What do you mean? You guys made a great couple!" I knew he didn't really mean it.  
"He came over last night with that intention, but I told him the news before he said anything about it."  
"Sam, I so sorry…for everything." This time I could see it was a genuine gesture.  
He pulled me into a warm embrace. After a while he said, "I'll talk to Hammond. Maybe he can transfer you somewhere that's near here." He turned to leave.  
"Jack, no."  
He turned back. "We're gong to miss you, Major." He cleared his throat and acknowledged my objection.  
"MAJOR CARTER, PLEASE REPORT TO GENERAL HAMMOND'S OFFICE."  
We both looked up. I rose to leave, but Jack blocked the way. "I'll go with you."  
"Thank you, sir, but—"  
"Ah…no buts, Carter."  
I smiled that smile that's reserved just for him. He smiled back, let me pass, and followed me out the door.  
The general didn't move his eyes from his paperwork immediately when we arrived. "Come in, Major."  
We sat down in the two chairs across from him. He finally regarded the two of us. "Colonel O'Neill, this was intended to be a private meeting between myself and Major Carter."  
"I have something to say, sir." Jack took my hand.  
"Go ahead."  
I looked at him, telling him mentally not to say anything. He ignored me.  
"I don't want Carter to go."  
"Colonel, none of us do, but—"  
"Hey now, I'm not finished." Jack stole a glance at me. "I don't care if this is worthy of a court martial or not, but she's more important to me than just a friend and colleague."  
Now that was a big one. It could have blown up in his face, but Hammond didn't really seem surprised or to mind at all.  
"I know, Jack." It started me for the general to use Jack's first name. "That's why I called Major Carter here."  
I turned my eyes to General Hammond. "What?" I thought, then realized I had voiced it.  
"Major, after some thought, I know where you will be going."  
"Where, sir?"  
"I suggest you take everything you've already packed out and put it back. I came to an agreement with General Smith. You will become the NORAD representative to the SGC."   
I couldn't speak. I'd know about NORAD's interest in what had been going on a few floors below them, and how keen they'd been on having someone to accompany one of the SG teams on missions. I would have never thought it could be me.  
"…Provided you wish to participate. Well, Major?"  
"Oh…of course, sir." I looked sideways to Jack. "I'd be happy to, sir."  
"Very good, I will inform General Smith. Let me just say, it's good to know that such a fine officer as yourself will be staying with us after all." Hammond gave a slight smile.  
"Thank you, sir." I suddenly realized Jack had yet to relinquish hold on my hand. "Sir?"  
"Oh, sorry, Carter." He immediately let go, and we both made to leave.  
"Colonel O'Neill, may I have a word with you?"  
"Yes, sir." Jack smiled as I closed the door behind me.


	3. Doctor Daniel Jackson

Sadness  
Doctor Daniel Jackson  
_by Mlle. Lambert_

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_Email: country@attglobal.net  
Category: Angst, Romance  
Spoilers: None that I can think of.  
Season/Sequel: Future Season  
Rating: PG  
Content Warnings: Character Death  
Pairings: Sam/Jack  
Summary: Daniel thinks about the events leading up to Jack's death.  
Status: Complete  
Disclaimer: Whoever owns them owns them! If I did, I'd be writing the scripts, not the fanfic!  
Author's Notes: The third installment of the story is finally here! Please R&R!  
Written: October 19, 2003  
Archive: Ask me first.  
Feedback: Yes, please._

* * *

Why am I the one always left in the dark? Well, sometimes I seem to know more than even Hammond does, so maybe I should take that back. Now, where was I? Oh, yes…I began seeing some interesting things going on here at the SGC about a year ago…or it could have been a little longer than that…but that doesn't matter. What matters is that a friend of mine just sacrificed his life.  
I don't know how it came about—everyone refuses to give me any details—but somehow Sam and Jack were able to bend the rules a little and get together. Actually, I was very happy for them. It just kind of took me a little by surprise, that's all. No, really I was jealous. Yeah, I know, that's not exactly something ordinary for me.  
I mean, I thought it was unfair that they could find love and happiness, while I was doomed to live a life alone. I've fallen in love, and it's under some circumstance that I can't stay with her or vice versa. I'm not even going to go into it.  
Let's see…they started dating, and nothing changed in their professional relationship. To be honest, I really wasn't paying that much attention to what was going on with them. I was still trying to get more information on how they managed to get past the regulations. While I was doing this, Jack finally got Sam to come to his cabin to go fishing. I'd say they had a good time, and I don't mean with catching fish, either.  
Shortly after their little rendezvous at Jack's cabin, a diamond ring appeared on Sam's hand. They started living together, but still, nothing changed at the SGC. It was if nothing had ever happened between them. That is, until those two were left alone in the commissary, or even the locker room. Trust me, I know from experience what they might have done in the latter. I learned _never_ to enter the locker room without knocking first.  
It's sad, though. They were just three weeks away from their wedding, and this had to happen. I don't know exactly what happened, but I know Jack voluntarily blew himself up. Sam wouldn't give the details during the debriefing, so that's about all I know.  
We were on some planet—P4A-779, I think. We found a pretty advanced civilization with some sort of doomsday device. Something happened and it was going to annihilate everyone unless someone could fix it. Naturally, Sam volunteered. Jack joined her, claiming it would be best that we stay in pairs.  
Next thing I knew, Sam was running out of the complex the device was in, and shortly thereafter, it exploded. I asked her what had happened, and she didn't answer. Teal'c asked, too. It was as if we weren't even there. Mumbling something, she dialed Earth and we were gone. She's been distant ever since.


	4. Teal'c

**Sadness  
Teal'c**  
_By Mlle Lambert_

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_Email: country@attglobal.net  
Category: Angst, Romance  
Spoilers: Little one for Divide and Conquer.  
Season/Sequel: Future Season  
Rating: PG  
Content Warnings: Character Death  
Pairings: Sam/Jack  
Summary: Teal'c recounts the events leading up to Jack's death.  
Status: Complete  
Disclaimer: Whoever owns them owns them! If I did, I'd be writing the scripts, not the fanfic!  
Author's Notes: To be honest, this is the one I dreaded the most, but it turned out to be quite easy! Tell me if it sounds like Teal'c!  
Written: October 20, 2003  
Archive: Ask me first.  
Feedback: Yes, please._

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In all of my time loyal to the Tau'ri, I do not believe I have ever seen Major Carter so upset. She is a woman, scientist, and warrior at heart. I have usually seen the scientist or the warrior, but the woman has surfaced of late. I feel that it is a good change, but the circumstances in which this has happened could have been better. Many have attempted to give comfort to no avail.  
General Hammond found a way for O'Neill and Major Carter to be together. They were to marry in less than a month. I was happy for them, and I told them this. Then O'Neill was killed in an explosion. As of yet, I am unaware of what transpired, for Daniel Jackson and I were located elsewhere. Perhaps if I approach Major Carter, she will inform me this time.  
I recall when this began. I had fought beside the Tau'ri for four years. I looked on as O'Neill and Major Carter confessed their feelings. What happened next, I have not yet figured out. For several more years, they denied what had happened between them to the point where Major Carter was going to leave the SGC, but General Hammond thought it best she become a liaison between the SGC and something called NORAD.  
Everything was fine until our mission to P4A-779 led us to a race with a powerful weapon of destruction. I do not know what occurred to cause the device to arm, but both O'Neill and Major Carter were to fix it, while Daniel Jackson and I studied some artifacts near the Stargate. Suddenly, Major Carter ran to the DHD and began selecting the symbols to return to Earth. There was an explosion, and I heard her say something concerning O'Neill. We stepped through to the other side without a word.  
We were immediately sent to the infirmary, where Doctor Fraiser released us after a thorough examination. At the debriefing, Major Carter would not give details on what happened. She merely told us he was dead as she held his identification tags close to her chest. General Hammond seemed to understand, and called her to his office afterwards, most likely to let her give more of an explanation in privacy.  
In losing O'Neill, we have all been given a deep wound that will hopefully heal with time. The people of the Tau'ri have lost a great warrior in the fight against the Goa'uld.  
Colonel O'Neill, wherever you may be, I salute you. You were a good friend and colleague. It was a pleasure to fight by your side for you cause.


	5. Colonel Jack O'Neill

**Sadness  
_Colonel Jack O'Neill_**_  
by Mlle Lambert_

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_Email: country@attglobal.net  
Category: Angst, Romance  
Spoilers: None that I can think of.  
Season/Sequel: Future Season  
Rating: PG  
Content Warnings: Character Death  
Pairings: Sam/Jack  
Summary: Jack recalls what happened in the time leading up to the explosion.  
Status: Complete  
Disclaimer: Whoever owns them owns them! If I did, I'd be writing the scripts, not the fanfic!  
Author's Notes: I swear this is not the last part! I've got another in the works that should be out soon! I promise!  
Written: October 21, 2003  
Archive: Ask me first.  
Feedback: No flames!_

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It's dark and cold. Man, is it cold. Where the hell am I? Oh, for cryin' out loud! That wasn't a dream, was it? Then I'm—oh, jeez. Wait a second! If I'm…dead…then why am I cold—why can I still feel?  
Okay, Jack! Don't freak out. Try to remember what happened. Let's see…Sam and I were trying to fix that doohickey…yeah, that's right!  
"Major Carter! Major Carter!" Sam, Daniel, Teal'c, and I turned at the voice.  
"What is it, Nora?"  
"There's been an accident! Experiment N4-F99C is going to explode!"  
"Why do these idiots always have to do this while we're here?" I asked no one in particular.  
"Please, it will destroy our entire city!"  
I remember thinking that they shouldn't have made a weapon so destructive. Experiment N4-F99C is, or was, a nuclear doomsday weapon type thing. The people of P4A-something-or-other were in the final stages of testing.  
"Sir?"Sam regarded me.  
"Oh, all right, Carter. I'll let you go play with your new toy, but I'm coming with you. We should stay in pairs," I said. "Daniel, Teal'c, go find some more rocks to bring home with us."  
I know that calling artifacts "rocks" annoys Daniel so much, but really they are rocks! That and I love to annoy people, especially Daniel. Oh, don't get me wrong, he's a good person, and I kind of admire him, but sometimes he's just a little annoying. Even more so that Sam can be. So we parted there.  
Sam and I must have tried everything, but the thing refused to stop. I took Carter aside, and we talked. We'd recently been engaged, and our wedding was to be held in a few weeks. One of the scientists had found a way to contain the explosion, but someone would have to go into the core of the device to do it.  
Unfortunately, those people are a bunch of cowards. The scientist who had devised the plan didn't want to go, but she wanted to save her people. Sam would have gone, but there was no way that I would allow it. After quite a bit of argument, it was decided I would be the one to save them.  
So, with a final kiss from Sam, and what a kiss it was, I walked into the core of the weapon. I did as I had been told, and in the few seconds I had left, waited.  
The last thing I saw was a flash of light. The last sound was a loud one. Then, I recall feeling something.  
I can't explain it. It wasn't pain. It wasn't even remotely close to that. It was love. In that instant, I felt love for me from Sam.  
"Oh, my! Colonel O'Neill!"  
I open my eyes. Nora looks back at me.  
"Colonel O'Neill, sir, are you all right?"  
"I'm alive? Oh, my God! I'm alive!"  
"Yes, you are! The gods must have spared your life for you heroism!"  
"Sam," I search for her.  
"She left with the others. Doctor Zindal told us the details when she arrived in the city."  
I spot the Stargate in the distance. For a moment, I marvel in its beauty. Then, the thought pops into my head. "Hey, Nora."  
"Yes, Colonel?"  
"Do you happen to have something like a radio to communicate with?"  



	6. Aftermath

**Sadness  
_Aftermath_**_  
by Mlle Lambert_

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_Email: country@attglobal.net  
Category: Angst, Romance  
Spoilers: None that I can think of.  
Season/Sequel: Future Season  
Rating: PG  
Content Warnings: Character Death  
Pairings: Sam/Jack, Daniel/Janet, Sam/Daniel friendship  
Summary: Everyone's thought about what happened. What now?  
Status: Complete  
Disclaimer: Whoever owns them owns them! If I did, I'd be writing the scripts, not the fanfic!  
Author's Notes: This is the last part in the story unless I get bugged for a sequel.  
Written: October 26, 2003  
Archive: Ask me first.  
Feedback: No flames!_

* * *

Samantha Carter sat in her lab loading and unloading her gun. In her head, she debated whether or not to end it all right at that moment. Life was nothing without Jack.   
The gate system had been down for about a week now, so no one had been able to go through and survey the damage on P4A-779. Until they did, Jack would not be declared dead. Why couldn't anything be easy?  
Sliding the magazine into the Beretta, she took aim. Her finger pressed the trigger. Her hands shook. Just a little further…  
"Sam!" Daniel's voice broke into her thoughts.  
"Go away!"   
He was inching towards her slowly. "Sam, you don't want to do this."  
"It's the only way." The weapon was still pointed at her. Sam could barely see it through her tears. "I can't go on without him."   
"Sam, think. This is not you. Jack wouldn't have wanted it this was." Daniel was less than a foot away, and still moving closer. "Put the gun down."   
"No!" What was she saying? He was right. This wasn't her.  
"Please, Sam. You have friends who can help you if you'd just let them in. Come on, put down the gun."  
Fresh tears streamed down her face. She yielded the gun to Daniel's outstretched hand. He took her in his arms as she cried. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! It just hurts so much!"  
"I know, Sam, I know." Daniel kissed her hair. "We'll get you through this, I promise."

~*~ 

Janet Fraiser sat in her office staring at the computer screen. A presence made her look up. "How is she?" she asked the man standing at the door.  
"She's holding up, all things considered," he answered."   
"Maybe I should—"  
"No, she needs some time alone." "What happened earlier? I heard some things that don't sound a bit like the Sam I know."   
"She was going to shoot herself. I guess she felt she couldn't live without Jack. If I hadn't walked in…"  
"Oh, my God, Daniel." Janet couldn't imagine her best friend doing such a thing.  
"I wish none of this had happened…I wish…"   
Janet rose from her chair. "That Jack had been selfish for once?"  
"No, not that…" Daniel joined her as she sat on the edge of her desk.  
"Sometimes I do." Janet sighed.  
Daniel snaked his arm around her, and she laid her head on his shoulder. "I know you do, Janet. I guess I do, too."  
"Yeah…Daniel?" She looked up at him.  
"What?"  
"Do you think she might try to kill herself again?"   
"She might."   
"Well, then I have something that could cheer her up." Janet started to get up, but Daniel caught her by the waist.   
"And what is that?"   
She turned to smile at him. "Sam's about seven weeks pregnant."  
"Wow!" Daniel loosened his grip and Janet wriggled free. She was almost out the door before he called, "Tell her congratulations for me!"  
"Will do!" came the voice of Doctor Fraiser as she walked down the hall to Sam's quarters.

~*~ 

"UNSCHEDULED OFF-WORLD ACTIVATION!"   
Within moments the iris was closed.  
"I'm not receiving an IDC, sir." Walter Davis told General Hammond.  
A familiar voice suddenly filled the room. "It's about time! I've been trying for a week now!"   
"Colonel O'Neill? Major Carter said you were killed."  
"I thought I was, too, but I woke up in that…thing three days after it exploded around me."   
Hammond nodded to the Tech. Sergeant, who opened the iris. "Colonel, the iris has been opened."   
"See you in a few seconds, sir."   
In that time, General Hammond made it to the embarkation room. A frantic Sam showed up about the time Jack stepped from the event horizon.  
"Sorry, Jack, but our gate system was down for several days. We'd just gotten it up and running when you dialed us," Hammond spoke.  
Jack then caught a glimpse of Sam. Her face was red as if she'd been crying. "Sam," he said while they exchanged a warm embrace.  
"I thought you were dead!" More tears slid down her cheeks. "Jack, what happened?"  
He kissed her forehead. "I'll explain later."   
And so he did. Two weeks later, they were wed at a local church. Then, as their baby girl was born seven months after that, they knew this was the start of a wonderful life, for better or for worse. They were together. They were alive. They were a family. 


End file.
